Eyes
by xfmoon
Summary: Oneshot. Short introspective drabble about, as you can see, eyes and life in generel.


**A/N:** Hey, so this is my first fanfic ever, my writing usually doesn't turn out that great, I tend to go out on tangents. Anyways I hope you'll give me a change, and I welcome constructive criticism. All mistakes are mine.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p>She had always been told that she had her mother's eyes, both when it came to the colour and when it came to their expressionism. After all, the eyes were windows to the soul. As cliché as that might sound, it seemed to be true in both her and her mother's case. For instance she had always been able to tell in what mood her mother was in just by looking at her eyes. It was much more difficult with her father though, but other things in his body language gave him away.<p>

Growing up it hadn't been hard to pick out the Lisbon kids from a crowd. She and her brothers looked very much alike, the same dark hair, the same creamy skin tone and a sea of tiny freckles, but her eyes set her apart from her siblings. They all had varying shades of brown eyes, like their father, whereas hers where more of a greenish colour, which she (as an invective) would later refer to as mud green. She had always been proud of her eyes, but after her mothers death and the repercussions of it, she would flinch each time someone said she reminded them of her mother, 'cause they were not the only ones that saw that. Her father, who at this point had become a self-pitying drunk would look at her and see his wife, which made him drink even more and this would eventually lead to either her or one of her brothers being beat up.  
>She steered clear of her father as much as possible as did her siblings, and the times she did get caught, she avoided eye contact if she could get away with it.<p>

It was only after her father died, that she allowed herself to really look into other people's eyes again, but something had changed, and her eyes didn't as easily give away her feelings anymore. By this time she had built a wall not only around her heart, but also around her soul, as a means of protection against the hurts of this world. This double enforced wall made her seem cold to those who didn't know her, which she really was not, she had a very caring personality, but she didn't talk feelings, she didn't wear her heart on her sleeve and she would never let herself cry in front of anybody. That's why all they could see shining through her eyes was her determination, her strength of character and her professionalism. These qualities helped her survive the boys club and earned her the perfect amount of respect needed in her chosen career.

She didn't give her eyes much thought after growing up, feeling confident her walls could withstand all kinds of pressures and assaults coming their way without faltering.

* * *

><p>How wrong she had been. The one thing she hadn't thought would happen, the thing she wouldn't have let happen had she had a conscious choice in the matter, was love. She had fallen in love, without even noticing it, and though she was still in denial, she could feel her walls crumbling every time she was around him. This made her scared to death, since she had experienced firsthand what love did to people, not only in her childhood but also in her job as a law enforcement officer.<p>

It wasn't like she had woken up one morning, looked in the mirror and noticed a difference, she didn't even feel that different. Gradually however she had noticed a sparkle appearing in her mud green eyes, one she didn't remember seeing there before or maybe she had just suppressed the memory of it. In any case it was there and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't seem to get rid of it.

And it wasn't only her eyes, she felt lighter somehow when he was near her, like he had taken a burden off of her shoulders that she didn't even know was there in the first place.

For every day that went by her walls seemed to give way just a little more, but as long as the foundation still stood she stubbornly clinged to the hope that someday, someway, somehow she would be able to fix it.

* * *

><p>She knew it was her eyes that gave her away every time. Bosco was right, she did have honest eyes, she couldn't deny it anymore. She had thought she could hide herself, her vulnerability, but he had an uncanny way of seeing right through her. It made her feel exposed, so much so that she considered beginning to avoid eye contact again, but she knew she couldn't do that, he would instantly know something was wrong and never stop pestering her about it.<p>

* * *

><p>The day the foundation finally gave way and her walls all but came tumbling down at once, was the day he told her that he loved her. From that day onward her eyes shone with a different light. One that she thought she had lost on that fateful day when she was 12.<p>

It seemed that the mud in her eyes had somehow been transformed into emeralds, all because of Patrick Jane.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Again thanks for reading and kudos to all writers out there, it takes guts to let other people read what you write.

Feel free to drop me a line and tell me what you think.


End file.
